Crown Me the Smoothie Queen

One of the side effects of being a full-time bartender is staying up all night getting mesmerized by infomercials. I saw one for the Magic Bullet and I fell in love. I wanted that thing sooo badly. Personal margaritas in little color-coded cups? So cool. I often get excited about a gadget or hobby only to abandon it later. I once crocheted about 30 scarves as Christmas presents for my coworkers at Holiday Inn over a weekend. A few months ago I gave my leftover yarn (an entire trash bag full) to a friend and let her have at it. Included in the bag was an unfinished baby blanket with the crochet hook dangling somewhere. Anyway, this past Christmas my parents randomly gave me a Nutra Ninja. I think my mom had Kohl’s cash to burn and saw it on an endcap. I didn’t open it until March and here’s why I finally did. I started a full-time editing job with an icky commute. I’m talking 45-70 minutes each way on the beltway. There were a few McDonald’s on the way. A couple times a week I breezed through the drive-thru for a McGriddle. Sometimes sausage, sometimes bacon, always artery-clogging deliciousness.

So now I’m sitting down for 10 straight hours a day, 2 of them in the car, which I have basically turned into my own restaurant. My tiny blue hatchback is an exploding closet for shoes, cardigans, cups, library books on CD, etc., but it also houses bags of chips, baggies of mixed nuts, apples, and even to-go containers of mouthwatering Italian food from the restaurant. I always seem to have at least 3 cups going at once—water for sure, coffee, Pepsi, or most recently, my smoothie of the day. This utter chaos earned me about 10 extra pounds and I decided something must be done.

I busted open the Nutra Ninja and it has become my favorite appliance of all time. No, I have never owned a KitchenAid mixer, but I hear those things are the bees’ knees. Sure, I perused some smoothie recipes on Pinterest but for the most part, I made up my own concoctions. I’m in my 30s, so I’ve tried a lot of diets and read a ton about nutrition. I wouldn’t say I’m a faddy person (although pre-Ninja I was a fatty person) but I’ve done South Beach, Flat Belly Diet, and various variations of other cool-looking programs over the years, mostly with pretty good results.

I started with the classic almond milk and fruit combos, and then I realized that I could put virtually anything into a smoothie. And just to be clear, I define the term “smoothie” as anything and everything that can fit into the handy 20-oz portable Ninja cup. The flavor combinations are endless! Fruits, veggies, nuts, yogurts, powders, extracts, seeds, hippie voodoo weirdness, and more all go into my morning smoothies. They excite me and keep me satisfied until lunch, I swear. I gave up McGriddles cold turkey the day I christened my Ninja. It’s coming with me on vacation, that’s for sure, along with a 1-lb bag of kale. Hmm, I wonder how kale would taste on a McGriddle. Kidding!